UPDATE May 7, 2024:
Updated link posted by The Alchemist (
post):
The M-Word (My Trip to Morrissey’s House) - Dave Carnie
Link posted by Jones in the forums (
original post):
“The Present Owner: M-Word. (My Trip to Morrissey’s House)” - THE FUTURE Magazine
Excerpt:
I don't own a cell phone. I never have. Talking on a phone is one of my least favorite things to do. And it's not often I find myself in an emergency where I need a phone. I have no need or want of a cell phone. Plus I'm slightly nauseated by the obsession with them. They're everywhere. The world is drunk on cell phones. What the fuck are you people all talking about? There is absolutely nothing I have to say to anyone that can't wait a couple hours ‘til I get home and can make a call on my “land line.” And besides my house catching on fire, or something of equally disastrous proportions, there is nothing anyone can say to me that is so important that it can't be left as a message on my answering machine. I will listen to the message and “I will get back to you as soon as I can,” as most people say on their outgoing message. Although, I do not say that on my outgoing message.
But as I stood in the sunny cul de sac outside of Morrissey two-million-dollar house off of Sunset Blvd. waiting for his realtor to arrive to show us the house, I suddenly realized it was one of those rare instances I needed a cell phone. As a prop. I figured I might look better if I were on a cell phone. It would be more authentic. You know, like I was a hot shot Hollywood millionaire wheeling and dealing or whatever it is they do on their cell phones. “Hold on, lemme call you back. I have to look at this fucking mansion or something,
God.” Because that's what I was supposed to be: a hot shot Hollywood millionaire interested in buying Morrissey's house.
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Sad (Score:0)
For the love of God (Score:0)
(User #15812 Info)
This man . . . (Score:1)
(User #9489 Info)
buy a cell phone dipshit (Score:1)
(User #430 Info)
Please spare me (Score:1)
(User #14157 Info)
This is really old... (Score:0)
Kinda Gay, Creepy, but Facinating (Score:1)
I guess I shouldn't talk because I asked to touch another dude's hand when I was 17 because he said he touched Morrissey at Irvine Meadows the night before.
Next time, use the piece of TP and wipe the seat.
(User #953 Info | http://randumbs.blogspot.com/)
Dear God, ... (Score:1)
(User #12729 Info)
Fat Gobshite (Score:0)
What an ugly man (Score:1)
(User #1727 Info)
I enjoyed the article. (Score:1)
I thought it was quite an amusing story, though I wouldn't have necessarily been so excited by the thought of defecating in the toilet had I been in his place. I can't imagine any of us would have turned down the opportunity to visit the former house of Morrissey, and I was very pleased to note he listed the other occupants of the house too - at least he bothered to do his research.
I visit a lot of houses, I belong to The National Trust. Houses retain an element of character from each owner, but generally only when furniture has been left behind. The discovery of the rusty cat thing in the garden was exciting - it probably did belong to Moz, and the crest would be a fantastic bit of historical architecture.
Instead of slating the guy, I salute his bravado for going there.
And as for peeing over the toilet - it made me laugh. We need to remember, Morrissey hasn't set foot in that house for quite a long time now, so he wont exactly care, and so what if he spelt the name wrong?
We need to take our heads out of our behinds once in a while (to let the sun out) and realise, Morrissey is only human, people spell my name wrong all the time but I don't call them a moron for doing it!
Can't we just learn to laugh at ourselves a little more?
(User #17786 Info | http://twitter.com/#!/Kitty3780)
So so so low (Score:1)
(User #14686 Info)
Even your mother is embarrassed to know you (Score:1)
(User #910 Info | http://www.youtube.com/profile?user=Morrisseythe23rd)
altogther now. (Score:0)
Have a long talk with your parents... Consult your spiritual advisor... book some quality therapy time.
In anycase, get some help.
Fast.
Has the word childish been used... (Score:0)
Mozza's house has been on the market for 2 years? (Score:0)
funny read... (Score:1)
(User #16603 Info)
Mozzy (Score:0)
So gross (Score:0)
What disrespect to another human being!
Someone he cares to fucking love too.
Nasty human!!!!!!!!
Moz & LA (Score:0)
Ugly fuc*er in Morrissey's house (Score:1)
(User #15031 Info | http://www.facebook.com/struttingrooster)
what a fat disgusting pie guzzling pig (Score:0)
I love this (Score:1)
(User #19856 Info)
Repeat after me, fatty: S T E V E N. (Score:1)
(User #278 Info | http://www.thefarm.cjb.net/)
Dave Carnie Rules!!!!! (Score:0)
with ur god damn morrissey fan clubs!!!
The Front Row in Atlantic City looked like a god damn PTA meeting!
Hooray for the Crass and the Brave (Score:1)
The article does exactly what it means to do: irreverently and lovingly approaches Morrissey (and his relics) with a fresh eye. It’s not the usual panegyric, nor the usual slander. It’s a bauble, and an intelligent one.
And for those who believe themselves above general naughtiness -- know that your idol (and mine) has done much over the years for the causes of sexual debauchery, unexpected cursing, and the joy of filth. Critics, please grow up and be immature.
(User #1757 Info | http://www.live365.com/stations/typicalgenius)