Life seems to be unfathomable. I despair sometimes on how I've not learned to live it. Why should anything be a mystery? Why should anything be hidden? Why should anything perturb you? Why should you feel uneasy? Why should you feel inadequate? I can only think we all must have done something terribly amiss somewhere else to warrant this amount of hardship. It's your god given right to be happy. Its your god given right to not feel sad. Its you're God given right to not feel pain. You should never, ever, have to suffer. Youre not around for long enough to learn any lessons from hardship. You're here for a few decades and then you're gone. There are no lessons to be learned because there's not enough time to learn them. If something displeases you you haven't enough time to put up with it. You can't be a good or bad person in the span of your lifetime. You're gone in a flash. Do whatever you want.
I can relate. I feel precariously fragile most of the time.I lie in bed at four am in the morning and the world and work seems too much to bear. Its horrible having to be strong when all you want someone to do is hold you. It's horrible having to be courageous when all you want to do is be weak.
Only well treated pets are given full time happiness.If you're feeling unhappy it's not your fault. Someone, somewhere, gave you the capacity to feel sad. Some selfish bastard invented unhappiness. Like I say, I can only feel I've done something terribly amiss in another world to warrant this amount of mental anguish. No one should ever feel sad. Happiness isn't a luxury. It's not something you have to look for. It's something you should be given
A little bit of happiness never did anyone any harm. You have no need of pain and every need of pleasure.
I do think of myself as unique. You wouldn't believe what I've experienced. You're unique too, I'm certain. I maybe wouldn't believe what you've experienced.I was going to sing you a song but I can't now because it's too late. I know life can be hard sometimes. You feel the whole world is against you. You have times where you're left on your own against seemingly insurmountable odds and you feel no one else on earth has ever been through what you're going through now. We have though. It doesn't make your plight any less real. It doesn't make it easier. We've all had to face things alone, though. We've all been tested to our very limits. Don't ever feel you're unique because life has dealt you a blow and you feel you don't know how to come back. I'm sure we've all sat there wondering where we went wrong and feeling we were the only person in the world to ever feel this way.
Trouble can arrive without having to commit murder. Terrible trouble. I'm amazed I'm enjoying living now, after the deep troubles I've had.Have you ever had one of those days where you wish you'd never woken up? We've all done it. Just remember, however badly you've behaved, as long as you've not committed murder you'll be OK. I could have decided to give up long ago, but I didn't. I've no reason to linger, but I do. Not because I need to, but because I want to. My life might be shit but it doesn't mean that life itself is shit. Life is impartial. It doesn't care about whether you're happy or sad. I feel death cold at hand but I shall dismiis him with no uncertain fervour. My time is not yet due. If misery hasn't taken me death shall stand in the stalls and hold his breath for someone else.
About -4 .. I’m back up as I can’t sleep again.... I’m only 9 miles off the Scottish border, so it can get very cold at times ...I usually don't have a heater on. I tend to wear arctic fleece pajama pants over sweatpants, and an arctic fleece hoodie over a tshirt and flannel shirt. Is it not cold where you are?
Gruesome, truly evil people, I have seen many documentaries on them.Ah. I just drew for an hour with colored pencils. I guess I'll read my ebook. A long chapter about Fred and Rose West.
What’s changed!!!!Scotland is still depressing as hell.
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