annus horribilis (?)

January: left my husband - found a house to move to with my kids –started the hardest job I have ever done in my professional career- all at once
February: moved house, back to the start, bruised.
March: loneliness, more than ever in my life
April: loneliness, except for maybe one night (illusion)
May: what have I done to you to deserve this?
June: nothing- wish I knew the way: there is no way, for me
July: come on, try to go out, try to live, try to see people – still absurd hopes/dreams in my head, unbelievable tenacity of hopeless Love
August: the same, more or less – if only I knew the truth…
September: …the truth, as a cleaver – (ironically, started a very good job, but I don’t care because I have an axe stuck in my stomach)
October: the sanest days are mad
November: idem
December: long talk and final act

So…2013, one fine day I’ll remember you smiling (?)
2014, will you even dare to be more bastard than the previous one?

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