When a relationship begins to resound with echoing death knells, it's fairly unmistakable. I have known for a very long time that this would occur. And, honestly, it's been degrading since the moment it began.
I blame myself.
So does he.
In fact, he not only heaps all the blame on me, but all the responsibility as well. Furthering the opportunity for more blame to be upon my head when I inevitably can't manage with both hands tied behind my back and all the odds stacked up against me.
I have talked about it all I wish to talk about it.
I have cried all the tears I had for something that just never really fully took shape.
I just want it to end.
It's so very ugly. So rude. So low class. Belligerent.
I would prefer to just dust off my hands and walk away.
And that's not going to happen.
The fight hasn't even begun.
I have been gone so long, I can't go home.
I have been too long in exile.
So, where to from here? Now, after a last ditch effort at pair bonding, which is very clearly not for me, I can get on with living a free, independent life. I suppose I was so easily given to the fantasy of love and marriage. Probably one of the only ways in which societal norms made any impression on me whatsoever. I wanted to believe it was possible. I wanted to experience it.
Nothing cures love quite like marriage.
There's no need to drone on and on.
I just needed to lament a bit.
I blame myself.
So does he.
In fact, he not only heaps all the blame on me, but all the responsibility as well. Furthering the opportunity for more blame to be upon my head when I inevitably can't manage with both hands tied behind my back and all the odds stacked up against me.
I have talked about it all I wish to talk about it.
I have cried all the tears I had for something that just never really fully took shape.
I just want it to end.
It's so very ugly. So rude. So low class. Belligerent.
I would prefer to just dust off my hands and walk away.
And that's not going to happen.
The fight hasn't even begun.
I have been gone so long, I can't go home.
I have been too long in exile.
So, where to from here? Now, after a last ditch effort at pair bonding, which is very clearly not for me, I can get on with living a free, independent life. I suppose I was so easily given to the fantasy of love and marriage. Probably one of the only ways in which societal norms made any impression on me whatsoever. I wanted to believe it was possible. I wanted to experience it.
Nothing cures love quite like marriage.
There's no need to drone on and on.
I just needed to lament a bit.