It`s dark now.Time for the loneliness to come to and settle in for the rest of the evening.I always feel so lonely at night.I used to stay up all night and not want to go to bed.That also used to be the time of day when I would mainly hurt myself.It was when I was up late at night and everyone else was asleep.It was mostly because there was less chance of getting caught hurting myself.I know it`s hard to understand but sometimes I would look forward to those times. I suppose it was my little chance for some relief.That was the easy part..... then comes the next day and regret and then decisions.What should/can I wear with these cuts on my body?How do I keep them hidden from my family? What do I say if someones asks questions?It all gets to be very exhausting.I just don`t see self harm as an option anymore.I can`t explain this though.I went through a very hard time last year, I guess I`m still going through it.But anyway I mostly stopped self harming.It was that I was so immersed in depression that I could not even manage to get that done.It`s like everything was a chore and took enormous effort and that was just another thing to do.I don`t think that was even the worst part.The worst part was the emptiness I felt inside of me.I felt like an empty shell just taking up space.
It was a quiet day today.It was mostly okay today.
It was a quiet day today.It was mostly okay today.
