I wish I could just cry my heart out and let all of this out.I just can`t seem to do it though.I keep all of this inside me.It`s been getting harder to keep it in.I guess that`s probably one of the reason`s I used to hurt myself. I didn`t have another way of releasing those emotions.I`ve just been feeling so low today and feel like the depression is hitting me very hard today.Sometimes I don`t think I can take it for another day.I wish living inside this head wasn`t so difficult.I know life is sometimes hard for everybody and that there are people out there who have it way harder than I do but this has been going on for years now and I don`t know what else I can do.Don`t get me wrong I don`t want to die but I just don`t want to live like this ....always sad or numb or not able to enjoy anything.I`ve tried and am trying with meds with therapy.In fact I`ve had to go on a new med because of unwanted side effects with the lithium.I could make a good long list of all the meds I`ve tried.I`m trying really hard not to give up and I get so scared sometimes,just thinking about everything.I don`t want much from life.I`d just like some happiness and the ability to enjoy living.
And when I`m lying in my bed
I think about life and I think about death
And neither one particularly appeals to me
~The Smiths~
And when I`m lying in my bed
I think about life and I think about death
And neither one particularly appeals to me
~The Smiths~
