I`ve been ill for many years now.I haven`t accomplished much of anything for the years I`ve been sick.When I became ill I had to drop out of school, so there went that.My sister`s have jobs and husbands and children and I have none of that. I`ve always felt so bad about myself that I never even tried to meet people. I`ve always had a real fear of rejection and being judged. I am/was afraid of people. Even though I have my family I feel very alone right now.
I can sometimes write about what I feel but I have quite a bit of difficulty expressing myself out loud.I don`t feel comfortable doing it. It`s hard for me just to have conversation with someone.I`m much more comfortable listening.I guess I`ve found other ways to express myself.Some of them were not healthy coping mechanisms.I would hurt myself to make myself feel better.It worked for a while in fact it worked for many years.It gave me a great sense of relief. Well....I haven`t done it quite a while.The last time I attempted to gain some relief by hurting myself ,it didn`t seem to work. I don`t know if I have stopped for good , I don`t know if I even can.All I know is that all it has left some ugly scars behind and has really accomplished nothing.
I do have many things to grateful for,my family for instance.I just can`t help feeling so sad and alone.
I can sometimes write about what I feel but I have quite a bit of difficulty expressing myself out loud.I don`t feel comfortable doing it. It`s hard for me just to have conversation with someone.I`m much more comfortable listening.I guess I`ve found other ways to express myself.Some of them were not healthy coping mechanisms.I would hurt myself to make myself feel better.It worked for a while in fact it worked for many years.It gave me a great sense of relief. Well....I haven`t done it quite a while.The last time I attempted to gain some relief by hurting myself ,it didn`t seem to work. I don`t know if I have stopped for good , I don`t know if I even can.All I know is that all it has left some ugly scars behind and has really accomplished nothing.
I do have many things to grateful for,my family for instance.I just can`t help feeling so sad and alone.