Sadness and Graves

I've decided that I should put this "rant" from my Notebook on the interwebs. I don't know why because it's terribly boring, but oh well..
-Yes, I write my opinions down in a notebook because I've got this pathetic thought that I might use it sometime in the future..-
I've been feeling quite sad tonight, cried and I'm feeling pretty lonely. Which I obviously am.

Anyways, when I feel like this I think about life and I think about death. But mostly death at the very moment. I've always liked graveyards but I really hate -most- modern thombstones. They're just so very, very ugly, even though they practically are the "houses" of the dead. And be honest, you wouldn't want to live in a carton box either, right? Well, I think those modern thombstones pretty much are! I myself prefer thombstones from before the 20th century. Back then they were real works of art, the graveyards themself were way nicer, too. They were like parks, people could come there to have a picnic, but they ofcourse wouldn't.. it was like a city of the death, and I like that idea...

But my rant is over pretty much..



But I still don't like the modern ones, they are just rows of graves. Without any trees or woods surrounding them..
Ah, I love those kind of graveyards. In my village they only have a modern one that freaked me out once. A family grave was open, and there was this dark brown stain in it, like dry blood, exactly like dry blood.. And yes, I think it's that, and the sadness, that we all will end up there.. It's almost like a smell of the past. If we walk through a graveyard we're among people who lived years and years before us. I like that idea, and you can get to know things about them by studying their thombstones. It's just beautiful in a special way..
It freaked me out indeed! At the time I was really getting into old horror movies, so yeahh...

I love wandering through our local graveyard, it's not big, and most graves are from WW2, but some of them gave me a good laugh. Ok, that might sound a bit rude, but, I had a fight with my parents again a while ago. So I went out and got to the graveyard, it was raining and there were birds everywhere. Anyways I was reading the stones, and one of them said "engaged to Mien Nieuwehuis". In dutch you could say that it said "my new home". I laughed.. I want that on my grave now :)
I can't find any of the one I got to either, though I do have some. There was a institute for crazy people, and criminals next to that graveyard. That also freaked me out..

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