For the night I leave everything behind and I am that awkward 19 yr. old, alone and desperately looking to you. You arrive and there is a message in your embrace. It sets the tone but I ignore it, I already know the truth. Maybe if I am a touch more clever, maybe an extra drink. No, no I can't reach you, stop, remember their perspective, let it go. Oh, but no I just need to wait for the right moment. What a borish narsasist, I know - I know. Kill the pain with drink, it persists as I can no longer fool myself. Friendship lost, why did I not just go alone. So honest, so painful.