Q+A
Morrissey

He lost a court case, no longer has a record deal and claims to have no fans. Yet Morrissey soldiers on. "I'm in love with the pop moment," he tells Alex Needham

Your forthcoming UK tour has a Mexican theme. Why?
Because I saw El Vez [a Mexican Elvis impersonator] recently and I'd like to have a go at stealing all his ideas

Have you been recording a new album?
No. It hasn't been possible. I signed with Mercury US in '97, and they immediately collapsed, so I've spent a long time trying to get disentangled. Most artists were just 'released' from their contracts and initially I wasn't one of them. The label was bought out by Seagram [Universal], who decided to let me go. I was very grateful

So you are, in fact, without a record deal?
I've been on so many labels, I have no idea where I'll end up next. Rough Trade, probably

Any new song titles you'd care to share with us?
No. You'll have plenty of opportunity to poke fun at them when the next album is released. Why start early?

So what have you been doing for two years?
Driving around LA minding my own business. Stimulating

The last public sighting of you was when you turned up at a signing at an HMV in New Mexico, apparently unbeknown to the organisers. Why did you show up?
Unbeknown! It was completely organised! Otherwise, why would there have been 'organizers'? Do you think I just turned up at a record shop in New Mexico carrying a wallpaper table, shouting at people to form an orderly queue? I somehow don't think so!

Where are you living now, and what's your gaff like?
I live in Los Angeles, in a house built in 1931 by Clark Gable; to his specifications, that is. He built it for Carole Lombard, but she was killed in a plane crash before she'd had time to pick out the curtains. Since then, I'm told F Scott Fitzgerald lived here, and John Schlesinger. But not together. Also, Robert Stigwood threw the Saturday Night Fever party here on the night of its premiere. So, all those people have sat on my toilet. Incredible, isn't it?

What sort of fans do you attract these days?
As far as I know, I don't attract any fans at all

How do you feel about being referred to, as you were in reviews of your last UK performance, as Jarvis Cocker's dad?
Just relieved that they didn't say Joe Cocker

Are you currently feeling devious, truculent, or unreliable?
The judge who said those words only did so because they described exactly what I am not, nor have ever been. He would be delighted that you remember his quote. This judge, John Weeks, had his eye on the press when he made that comment. Some judges are a bit like ex-drummers, they'll do anything for a bit of press attention. I was delighted when Michael Stipe called him a "fuckhead" in Q magazine. It was the first time anyone had ever stood up for me in the press on this matter

What words describe your frame of mind?
I'm mostly serene, and still in love with music and 'the pop moment'

And are you buff or weedy these days?
A little bit of each, but not much of either

What's your fitness regime?
I only swim. I used to walk a lot in London, but if you walk in Los Angeles people lean out of windows and point at you

What was the last film that you enjoyed?
I came across a VHS copy of Nil By Mouth in a shop in Hollywood for $99. This was before the film was released, and before much was generally known about it. I was intrigued, bought it, and spent the next two weeks watching it non-stop

Which contemporary musicians do you rate?
Goldie, Moby, Mouldy, and Tricky. Sorry, just kidding about Mouldy- there's no such person

What is it that so horrifies you about modern life?
In Britain, politics. Considering the obsession that the British media have with politics and politicians, it's surprising how catastrophic British politicians are. The British media still don't have the nerve to admit to themselves how useless Tony Blair is. Useless for Britain, useless for Europe. Useless, useless, useless. I think it's sad that England can't produce one single inspiring politician

Having anatomised British culture so exhaustively, why do you no longer want to live here?
Because I've anatomised British culture so exhaustively. Besides, I can't stand Channel 5

Ah. And you've also described the BBC as "scum". Why?
You wouldn't ask this question if you'd ever sampled the food in the BBC canteen

When's the definitive Morrissey novel coming out?
As soon as Melvyn Bragg snuffs it. Fingers crossed

There's yet another Smiths-to-reform rumour doing the rounds. Are you and Johnny Marr ever going to get back together?
Well, let me put it this way: no

How about 'the other two'?
I've never met Gillian or Stephen. Apparently, Gillian's keyboard technique has been compared to Jo Brand pole-vaulting

Given your admiration of the Kray twins, what do you think of Tricky recording a whole album with gangsters?
If Tricky made an album with Princess Anne and a lump of sugar, I'd buy it. And I don't think I ever said I admired the Kray twins. Did I?

At which point did you stop being celibate, why and who with?
I don't see how anyone would benefit from seeing that kind of information in print. Least of all me

Viv Nicholson was a Smiths icon. Are you tempted by the musical, Spend, Spend, Spend, made about her life?
Yes. I'm tempted to avoid it

After everything that has happened to you, why on earth do you still bother?
For the same reason that Saint Francis of Assisi bothered

Here's what I've been told for the West Coast Dates:

Dec 10 Cupertino (unconfirmed)
Dec 11 San Francisco
Dec 12 Fresno
Dec 14 San Diego
Dec 15 Los Angeles
Dec 16 Los Angeles
Dec 18 Ventura
Dec 19 Las Vegas
Dec 20 Las Vegas

I've just posted a transcription of a Morrissey interview to one of our radio stations in Portugal. It's on the message board for the Oporto show, because everyone was asking for it!!! You can read it under the "Helena's 'Promise'" entry.

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First and foremost, I haven't promised anything! Secondly, I haven't posted the interview later because I didn't tape the whole thing and I was hoping that somebody else had. Sorry, guys!

I'm not sure the interview was given exclusively to that radio station and they only put some small excerpts on air. Here are Morrissey's words (the answers aren't necessarily in chronological order, because they put them on randomly...)

Regarding the label and the new album...
'I'm not signed to anybody, because the last label I signed to colapsed, and once they fell they released everybody from their contract. So, I'm free to sign a new deal... and I'm looking forward to that. But yes, the album is written and is ready to be recorded. I can't record it because I don't have a label, so I have to wait til I'm signed with somebody.'

'I communicated with John Cale and he's very interested in doing it, which is quite good for me, because I think he's very clever.'

Regarding Morrissey's present feelings...
'Who wants to stay the same forever?! I am happy. I'm not saying that I'm an ecstatic or a trivial person... I'm still very seriously... and I do most things in a very seriously way, but I am happy, yes. Certainly mainly because I feel that I have survived and I'm pleased about that.'

Regarding the "Oye Esteban" tour...
'I play many songs which I've never sung before, but there aren't songs in the set which have... are unreleased - they all have been released before. And there are some Smiths songs. The songs are "Meat Is Murder", "Last Night I Dreamt That Somebody Loved Me" and a song called "Is It Really So Strange?" And they go down very well, don't they?'

Regarding his coming to Portugal...
'I would like to say that I'm very very pleased to be... to go to Portugal and... I don't expect a huge crowd (laughs), but whoever comes along I think they will enjoy what they see, and I hope they do. That's all I can say. (laughs)'

'It's very nice to know that there are some people who are expecting anxiously (laughs) these shows, and I hope people turn up, because I wanted to come to Portugal for such a long time, and I think people will find it very enjoyable. I think they may be surprised. It's also very lively and a very expressive night. So, I think people will enjoy it.'

There you go! Hope you've enjoyed it as much as I have!

Thanks again, Morrissey!

Thought you might like to know that I have just had a hot tip, from an impeccable source, that there's a major feature by Mark Simpson on La Moz running in this Friday's Guardian.

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 6
(check your local listings)
9:30AM

The List

Sexiest Male Artist. Hosted by Illeana Douglas.
Guests include: Melissa Auf Der Maur (HOLE), Bridgette Wilson, Wilmer Valderrama, and Judy Gold.

Apparently, this is the episode where Melissa Auf Der Maur from Hole nominates our lovely Moz for sexiest male artist...