You obviously didn't follow the Lucas Leiva tweets:
http://twitter.com/LucasLeiva21
(Hilarious)
Before we go I have to pop into Home Bargains for some Apple Tango for the journey. Excited!
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Jamie and Stevie were straight into the back seat of the coaches and have taken my Apple Tango.
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This is going to be a long journey. Maybe I'll just sit in the toilet. If I get really desperate though theres a seat next to Kyrgiakos.
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Screw that, Soto has an industrial sized tub of Houmous. And no bread. Or spoon. Its like a drink to him. He's a monster.
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I lent on Sotos chair by accident. Big mistake. Apparently I've 'compromised Olympus'. He's now spouting poetry in Greek with his eyes shut.
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Ryans sat by Nabil and so the chair next to Javier is empty. This is my chance. The fans seem to hate this - me 'sitting' next to Mascherano
A nice scouse man referred to me as a 'useless escaped goat'. Must be a regional compliment. Lucas is a happy man.
Got a Galaxy Ripple & a Solero. Ate the Ripple 1st, stupidly. Soto is now saying that anything I lick he has to then lick - Greek tradition.
lessis been in the bog for 45 mins. Apparently he took N'Gogs Nuts magazine in with him. Must be better at wanking than he is at footbal
Damien came out wearing a huge grin. No shit is that good. Stevie squared up to him calling him a 'dirty wanker'. Sammy Lee split them up.
Its all settled down now. Dan Agger has his heavy metal on, Masch is shadow boxing, Dirks doing sit ups asking Rafa to 'watch me, watch me'
Big moment for me this, game of noughts and crosses with Dirk. Rafa has set it up. I see the winner of this gaining the seat next to him.
Dirk calls it 'Zeroesh and Oesh'. He hasn't a clue. Luckily I've got first go, I'm shaking, but I know where my cross is going.
I won. But Rafa didnt offer me the seat. A moral victory to Lucas though, Dirk keeps punching himself in the arm muttering 'sorry boss'.
What a couple of hours. Forgot I had my packed lunch - Dinosaur Meat sandwiches (no crusts) and a packet of Frisps. Forgot my Fruit Shoot.
@parfait_x_amour Steven has told us all he'll never listen to Phil Collins again after that fateful night in Southport.
Jamie did a few prank calls on Phil Neville. Just repeatedly saying 'Ya shit, ya shit lad'. We played the Rizla game - I got Kasey Keller.
Aquilani has hurt himself in the den. Typical. He can't move to get out and because of the sign, none of our physios can go in. Real dilemma
Its a papercut. He's out of Thursdays match. Looks like I'll be playing again. At least I'm not travelling all this way for nothing.
Carra and Stevie sharing headphones listening to some loud Scouse House. Rafa is really drunk now.
Kyrgiakos now sitting with the driver. Telling him that he's 'A carnivore, plain and simple. Only the weak and women eat anything green'
Finally got my seat next to Rafa. Dirk popped for a sneaky piss but I was all over it like, as we say in Brazil, a 'Donkey to a Turbine'
Dirks been giving Rafa wine. I can tell when hes drunk because he stares at me disappointingly saying he wishes he'd got a receipt for me.
"Where's the receipt Lucas. You must have it. There must have been one. Where's the receipt." These words will haunt my dreams
He's singing 'Que Sera' with his arm round my neck. This is just like I imagined it. Dirk is watching on enviously. 1-0 to Leiva.
Cavalieri snoring loudly. He sleeps in his gloves. In fact, I don't think I've ever seen him take his gloves off. What is he hiding.
Off to try and get some sleep now. Nabil 'n Babel still rapping in Dutch and French together. Kyrgiakos sleeping standing up, fists clenched
Few ppl in their pyjamas now. Either NGog has a baseball bat down there or hes one blessed, blessed boy. Jesús Christi its like another arm!