My friend found this photo of us. It was taken Easter Sunday 2000 in her grandmother's home in a suburb of Milwaukee, the farthest I have travelled from California since I was moved here by my family in 1980. In the photo my friend and her Nani embrace effortlessly while I loom awkwardly in the background like a lost lesbian in search of, well, I wasn't sure at the time. I know at the time I FELT like a boy, even today I do. I wasn;t sure how to act on that though, so I tried my best to be myself, a boyish girl. But I'm not a lesbian, I just play a boy role in my life. It;s hard to describe. In the background a child sits on his knees and looks at a Saints candle, not sure which saint. On the television a basketball game is on, the MUTE button is pressed. Thank God somebody witnessed all this from a distance and wrote about it. Thank God.