I did something sad yesterday

I was given a $50 gift card to a fancy paper store in Pasadena. Instead of buying fancy paper to make something pretty, I spent half of it on a calendar to keep track of my housesitting dates. I feel cosmically roped into watching other people's houses while they vacation and have fun. I hate it. Every year I think something will happen that will stop me from having to do it, but always it's just a temporary stop or nothing at all. So it was sad and put me in a terrible mood. While I was puchasing it, my mom with with me and huffing about the store, she kept saying I should by a change purse instead. I guess that made me smile a little bit, but reality is a stronger more driving force than fantasy, where I find myself most often.