Morrissey Wants You!

[realitybites]

You receive a fax from the man himself. He requests your assistance. He wants you to be his muse. He states that he feels uninspired at the moment but wants to get started on some new material for his next album.

What do you suggest? What book(s) should he read? And/or what painting or sculpture should he see? And/or what city should he experience?

Come on, you are a clever bunch!

Share with us your best tricks of the muse trade.

 

[Reggie Pepper]

Morrissey wants you to go away and boil your head, this twaddle surely is the srapings off the bottom of the barrel!

 

[Cuddle]

He needs to read some "Captain Underpants" and listen to William Shatner's newest album.

Yes I am being quite silly.


Doubtless somebody else will come up with much better and thought provoking suggestions. Please excuse my momentary lunacy....

Next!


-- edited cuz I caint spell

 

[El Manzo]

Something different. He should go out shopping in Rome: Prada, Gucci, Armani. Eat lunch at the 'Montecarlo' trattoria. Rest for two hours at the hotel, while listening to the sound of the pouring rain. Go out shopping in Rome: Prada, Gucci, Armani. Eat at the 'Montecarlo' trattoria. Rest for two hours at the hotel. Have a beer, have a shag. Go to bed.

 

[Suzanne]

let's assume that he wants to lurk around and take notes on the things i say or do. after all, i am a muse so it's not my place to interfere. i am merely to exist and pose while he draws inspiration to make great art. my suggestion would to actually write things about the interesting and newsworthy bits, the few that there might be. don't go for the pity party bits because after years of experimentation, those are the least popular posts. people want to laugh or be blown away by something. no more middle of the road whining. look how well it went down in "i'll never be anybody's hero now". after a 25 year career, nobody BUYS it from you. they'd buy it from me because i am the once and future nobody. in your case, it sounds more like you are fishing for compliments.

"no, no, you were just on the cover of the NME again last week!"

also, he should at least provide me tickets for the next show in town. now, i know that not even julia gets a proper seat at the venues and must steal from others, but if you're going to at least somebody for a muse, at least comp them a $35 ticket...oh, and maybe send a copy of the album and the subsequent singles. i know sanctuary is hurting, but the whole thing smacks reminisce of those ads you see in writer's magazines where they want you to enter a poetry contest. you don't win, but they offer to sell you a hardbound edition of all the entries for $40.

 

[Mada]

Catcher in the Rye by J. D. Salinger.

 

[The Cat's Mother]

Well, if he'd been sitting next to me a few minutes ago, when I mistyped my eBay bid and accidently bid several hundred thousand pounds for a guitar, he'd have had the inspiration to write "Panic Revisited."

 

[alainsane]

Lessee...he's already done disaffected, gawky bookworm look; he's courted skinheads and old-time gangsters; he's affected the injuries of boxing victims; he's done a stint as a priest; he's done the "I'm hot, and I know it" gold lame shirt and jeans bit; he's given over to 70's leisure suits; he did whatever the hell he did around Maladjusted; and now he's going aroud in tuxedos (see Jools Holland).

I think the only thing he hasn't done is something like the Amadeus look. Big white (or blue) wigs, frilly frocks with ovecoats and waistpants, square-nosed shoes, white-powdered face with blush spots on the cheeks. Either that or give him the Charles Bukowski bibliography and try to turn him into a barfly. Maybe introduce him to Shane MacGowan.

 

[Math Tinder]

Do copious amounts of drugs with me.

xo, math+