Yes. You absolutely do. You find a way to shoehorn your sad legacy into every single f***ing thread on here. A solipsistic one trick pony galloping slowly and sadly into an asylum.
I bear you no ill will. I believe you are borderline mentally ill, yet cogent enough and coherent enough to post regularly in a web forum dedicated to a gay pop star. Regarding what I presume are the last reserves of that wherewithal, I implore you for your own sake to seek help. If you do not heed this advice, my life will not be any different. But for your own sake, please. Get help.
You are a talented artist. You are a mentally ill human. The blending of the two traits is often a sublime cocktail...any stroll through a major art gallery will attest to that trope. Please know I do not mean to insult you. But, seriously, you are f***ed in the head. Get help.