Who writes this stuff?
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Deleted member 1074
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That's life!
Jones
Senior Member
When it comes to Morrissey, people tend to write what they assume is the truth rather than open their eyes and ears and think and hear for themselves.
Other "truths" that are often repeated;
"Morrissey's band are a load of rough thugs"
"Morrissey's band are a load of faceless session musicians"
"Morrissey's band sound like a pub band"
"Morrissey's band only play rockabilly"
"Morrissey is skinny and weedy"
"Morrissey is really effeminate"
"Morrissey is finally happy" (that one is said after every new album)
Other "truths" that are often repeated;
"Morrissey's band are a load of rough thugs"
"Morrissey's band are a load of faceless session musicians"
"Morrissey's band sound like a pub band"
"Morrissey's band only play rockabilly"
"Morrissey is skinny and weedy"
"Morrissey is really effeminate"
"Morrissey is finally happy" (that one is said after every new album)
nightandday
New Member
Very true. Except that people have finally realized that Morrissey isn't skinny, so number 5 has now changed to "Morrissey is fat!"
You forgot to mention:
"Morrissey solo songs are usually good lyrics set to an average melody"
"Morrissey never writes songs about women"
"Morrissey only writes songs about ruffians and criminals"
"Morrissey's songs are all autobiographical"
"All Morrissey fans who jump on stage to hug him are men"
and, of course:
"Morrissey solo is not a patch on The Smiths" and "Morrissey is nothing without Johnny Marr"
...not to mention the never-ending "Is Morrissey a racist?", "Morrissey is a racist!", "Morrissey was fond of BNP/National Front, wasn't he?" debates...
Writing an article about The Smiths/Morrissey must be the easiest thing in the world. You just need to mention that The Smiths were jangle pop, that they are depressing and that Morrissey is miserable, throw in something about them being quintessentially English, namecheck Oscar Wilde to show you know your stuff (lately, Pasolini will do nicely, too), and be sure to use the word 'homoerotic' at least 10 times.
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duchess_of_fork
New Member
Very true. Except that people have finally realized that Morrissey isn't skinny, so number 5 has now changed to "Morrissey is fat!"
You forgot to mention:
"Morrissey solo songs are usually good lyrics set to an average melody"
"Morrissey never writes songs about women"
"Morrissey only writes songs about ruffians and criminals"
"Morrissey's songs are all autobiographical"
"All Morrissey fans who jump on stage to hug him are men"
and, of course:
"Morrissey solo is not a patch on The Smiths" and "Morrissey is nothing without Johnny Marr"
...not to mention the never-ending "Is Morrissey a racist?", "Morrissey is a racist!", "Morrissey was fond of BNP/National Front, wasn't he?" debates...
Writing an article about The Smiths/Morrissey must be the easiest thing in the world. You just need to mention that The Smiths were jangle pop, that they are depressing and that Morrissey is miserable, throw in something about them being quintessetially English, namecheck Oscar Wilde to show you know your stuff (lately, Pasolini will do nicely, too), and be sure to use the word 'homoerotic' at least 10 times.
lol you're now ready to write an article on Morrissey for either the NME, Spin or the Rolling Stone...isn't it sad how unprofessional journalists are? what happened to the likes of Lester Bangs...
aaaagh
WinkWink
Banned
i always thought Spin was decent reporting on Morrissey.
duchess_of_fork
New Member
Spin sucks at life. Their editors are drones...I read a recent article on him (or was it a blurb? it was something short) and it started off with "depressing" or an equal adjective to describe Morrissey...they have journalists who don't even like music, or artists, so they resort to stereotypes to make themselves sound knowledgeable...you know, the people who say "I like the Smiths, but not Morrissey"...pretentious assholes who want to sound like they know things....but they really don't.
Lost
New Member
I think Morrissey himself would agree with your statement but he'd probably add that it's actually endemic of the world we live in where many people have become so passive that they are now happy to let the media make their minds up for them about everything.
And of course he'd be right!
and...it drives me bloody crazy!!!!!!!
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miss_bunbury
Member
I think people take the medias view because they simply can't be bothered to think about anything for long enough to form an opinion of their own, probably because most of what's in the media isn't worth taking the time to think about.
nightandday
New Member
Most of the people who say that don't actually know more than 5 or 6 Morrissey solo songs (only the singles that they've heard on radio).
ALLIE WALLS
Junior Member
I wouldnt be sirprised if on the unfortunate day of Morrisseys demise the headlines read "heaven knows hes dead now" Lol
Amy
from the Ice Age to the dole age
First - a slapped wrist for conjuring up such a horrible thought in my head
. Morrissey shouldn't ever have to die.Second - Heaven Knows He's Dead Now sounds all too true of the tabloids. Or something about a half-life disappearing...
nightandday
New Member
someone has recently changed morrissey's pic in wikipedia,i loved the other one
anyway, who writes THIS stuff?
Lies Of Morrissey
Amongst the many writings of Morrissey are a collection of lies and heresies.
"The more you ignore me, the closer I get"
Truth: Morrissey comes closer to you at a constant speed whether or not you ignore him. It's just more surprising if you ignore him.
"As I live and breathe, you have killed me"
Truth: Morrissey is unkillable. Many have tried, all have failed.
"There is a light that never goes out"
Truth: What? Where is this light? It would solve global warming!
"If there's something you want to try, ask me I won't say no, how could I?"
Truth: Morrissey won't eat meat, even if you do want to try out a new recipe for a meat pie.
"Meat is murder"
Truth: Meat is tasty!
"Everyday is like Sunday..."
Truth: This man does not know the days of the week. There is post all week but not Sundays. Last time I checked, I get post on Thursdays.
"I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear"
Truth: Morrissey owns several charming pink suede dresses. He could wear those.
"I know I'm unlovable"
Truth: Morrissey is quite lovable. That's why he is so evil. However, by lovable, I mean that wet kitten kind of lovable. So pathetic that you like it.
"So one day, if you're bored, by all means call me"
Truth: Morrissey doesn't list his phone number, so even though I am quite bored, I apparently can not call him.
"You know I couldn't last"
Truth: Since 1983, we've been fighting Morrissey. He clearly can last.
"Hey Gringo, it's sad though, because it's hard to walk tall when you're small"
Truth: It is nigh impossible to walk tall when you're small.
"I've changed my plea to guilty"
Truth: Morrissey later said that he isn't sorry. Clearly, he didn't change his plea.
"I keep mine hidden"
Truth: I don't know what he is referring to here, but I don't think he keeps it hidden.
"You can shoot me , or you can throw me off a train"
Truth: He seemed less than pleased to be shot or thrown from a train , despite his request.
"Girlfriend in a coma , I know I know , it's serious"
Truth: Morrissey's only girlfriend 'Gwen' was questioned in 1995 about her coma . She denied the coma , yet she controversially claimed in a 2002 interview that "I would stay in bed for weeks and he would think i was in a Coma . I decided a joke was a joke when he wrote a song about me".
"Armageddon - come armageddon!Come, armageddon! come!"
Truth: Morrissey using his influence to call nuclear armageddon upon the welsh city of Borth for its liberal, unmorrisey like, views.
"I've never had a job, because I've never wanted one."
Truth: Morrissey was seen in December 2004 delivering pizza for Domino's in Los Angeles.
anyway, who writes THIS stuff?
Lies Of Morrissey
Amongst the many writings of Morrissey are a collection of lies and heresies.
"The more you ignore me, the closer I get"
Truth: Morrissey comes closer to you at a constant speed whether or not you ignore him. It's just more surprising if you ignore him.
"As I live and breathe, you have killed me"
Truth: Morrissey is unkillable. Many have tried, all have failed.
"There is a light that never goes out"
Truth: What? Where is this light? It would solve global warming!
"If there's something you want to try, ask me I won't say no, how could I?"
Truth: Morrissey won't eat meat, even if you do want to try out a new recipe for a meat pie.
"Meat is murder"
Truth: Meat is tasty!
"Everyday is like Sunday..."
Truth: This man does not know the days of the week. There is post all week but not Sundays. Last time I checked, I get post on Thursdays.
"I would go out tonight, but I haven't got a stitch to wear"
Truth: Morrissey owns several charming pink suede dresses. He could wear those.
"I know I'm unlovable"
Truth: Morrissey is quite lovable. That's why he is so evil. However, by lovable, I mean that wet kitten kind of lovable. So pathetic that you like it.
"So one day, if you're bored, by all means call me"
Truth: Morrissey doesn't list his phone number, so even though I am quite bored, I apparently can not call him.
"You know I couldn't last"
Truth: Since 1983, we've been fighting Morrissey. He clearly can last.
"Hey Gringo, it's sad though, because it's hard to walk tall when you're small"
Truth: It is nigh impossible to walk tall when you're small.
"I've changed my plea to guilty"
Truth: Morrissey later said that he isn't sorry. Clearly, he didn't change his plea.
"I keep mine hidden"
Truth: I don't know what he is referring to here, but I don't think he keeps it hidden.
"You can shoot me , or you can throw me off a train"
Truth: He seemed less than pleased to be shot or thrown from a train , despite his request.
"Girlfriend in a coma , I know I know , it's serious"
Truth: Morrissey's only girlfriend 'Gwen' was questioned in 1995 about her coma . She denied the coma , yet she controversially claimed in a 2002 interview that "I would stay in bed for weeks and he would think i was in a Coma . I decided a joke was a joke when he wrote a song about me".
"Armageddon - come armageddon!Come, armageddon! come!"
Truth: Morrissey using his influence to call nuclear armageddon upon the welsh city of Borth for its liberal, unmorrisey like, views.
"I've never had a job, because I've never wanted one."
Truth: Morrissey was seen in December 2004 delivering pizza for Domino's in Los Angeles.
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