This picture is of the last time I will see my wife and kids until the end of August. It is early June and this moment is well rehearsed.
We have family that resides in, at this moment, four different countries. As my career now is firmly based in the US, I will not live abroad until I retire. Every summer my wife takes the kids to visit family members in these countries. We host them when they come here for weeks, they in turn do the same. But since my wife does not work, she has always done it summer long with the kids.
Early in our marriage, we decided this was good for the kids. Although I am the one missing from the months long travel, I felt my missing them was less than the experience they could have. They are fluent in two different languages because of these travels and regular tutoring during the school year.
On the drive away from the airport after dropping them off, it is eerie quiet. A quiet I've learned to recognize. I live alone for three months every year. In the beginning there was no whatsapp, text, or email. So those times were much quieter. This is where I cut my teeth for being OK alone while still having a family.
My colleagues will joke with me, asking me how I do it. I explain I am going to be married forever. I tell them I do everything I can't do when they are here. And I mean that in a respectful way. Three rules always apply in my life of things I won't do, is it illegal, immoral or unsafe. Those still apply when they are gone.
I focus on work more, resting more, working out and racing more. I see my friends more. I travel out of town more. I live a secularly quiet life when they are gone.
I also think this is why I try to do as many things with the kids as I can. There's no spot I wish was filled by something else. Whatever "else" that is deep in me is expended during the summer. Life is busy and can batter and bruise you to bits. When they return I devote all of my emotion to them. Even if they didn't leave I would still give it all to them. But with this, I feel like it brings both my wife, kids and me closer together. My wife and I are both pretty independent. We even joke that it seems like when they get back, we feel like we haven't been away from each other for a day.
When they are gone I follow a routine and the days tick by. I'm a pro at this. I've done this same summer over ten times. In a weird way I think it gives me strength. If everything in my life I loved was gone, would I still exist. The summers prove I do.
We have family that resides in, at this moment, four different countries. As my career now is firmly based in the US, I will not live abroad until I retire. Every summer my wife takes the kids to visit family members in these countries. We host them when they come here for weeks, they in turn do the same. But since my wife does not work, she has always done it summer long with the kids.
Early in our marriage, we decided this was good for the kids. Although I am the one missing from the months long travel, I felt my missing them was less than the experience they could have. They are fluent in two different languages because of these travels and regular tutoring during the school year.
On the drive away from the airport after dropping them off, it is eerie quiet. A quiet I've learned to recognize. I live alone for three months every year. In the beginning there was no whatsapp, text, or email. So those times were much quieter. This is where I cut my teeth for being OK alone while still having a family.
My colleagues will joke with me, asking me how I do it. I explain I am going to be married forever. I tell them I do everything I can't do when they are here. And I mean that in a respectful way. Three rules always apply in my life of things I won't do, is it illegal, immoral or unsafe. Those still apply when they are gone.
I focus on work more, resting more, working out and racing more. I see my friends more. I travel out of town more. I live a secularly quiet life when they are gone.
I also think this is why I try to do as many things with the kids as I can. There's no spot I wish was filled by something else. Whatever "else" that is deep in me is expended during the summer. Life is busy and can batter and bruise you to bits. When they return I devote all of my emotion to them. Even if they didn't leave I would still give it all to them. But with this, I feel like it brings both my wife, kids and me closer together. My wife and I are both pretty independent. We even joke that it seems like when they get back, we feel like we haven't been away from each other for a day.
When they are gone I follow a routine and the days tick by. I'm a pro at this. I've done this same summer over ten times. In a weird way I think it gives me strength. If everything in my life I loved was gone, would I still exist. The summers prove I do.
