Right so let's get this straight, Morrissey went to that event wanting to secure a new recording contract which he was expecting to achieve in 24 hours. As he didn't have a new contract signed, sealed and delivered within that time he then took to TTY to issue an angry missive denouncing the entire industry.
Have you contacted the BBC about maybe doing some comedy writing for them? I think you would be quite good. The only downside I can think of is that it may get in the way of your Morrissey obsession, leaving you less time to study and disseminate his every move.