Morrissey's best put down

[butley]

Am just reading Morrissey reviewing the singles in Smash Hits in '85 and some of his put downs are great. "One would hear more vocal passion from an ape under anaesthetic" is pretty funny.

My favourite put down though is when he heard Anthony Wilson had said he thought Morrissey was a woman trapped in a man's body and Moz said, " Anthonty Wilson is a man trapped in a pig's body".

Ouch. Any more crackers?

 

[nicky wire's legs]

i like:
of Julie Burchill: "Her naked body probably kills off marine plankton in the North Sea"
i have no idea what that even means but it sounds fantastic.

on a related note, someone once accused me of being a gay man trapped in a female body. it was my proudest moment. it's true that i did use to use the words divine and fabulous copiously

 

[Anonymous]

Anthony Wilson is a man trapped in a pig's body

Didn't Moz claim that he had been misquoted on that one and that he actually said "Anthony Wilson is a pig trapped in a man's body"?

Anyway, I find it funny everytime he mentions Wilson in his memoir. "Professional fusspot Anthony Wilson", "managed a slow decline which some thought to be an ongoing career" and, of course, the moment he thought he spotted Jerry Springer in the streets only to find out that it was Wilson.

 

[butley]

The Burchill one is incredible as it seems to make no sense and perfect sense at the same time.

It makes me picture a big and ugly rusty piece of industrial equipment being lowered into cold grey murky sea water. Genius.

 

[Cornflakes]

I like the Tony Wilson one. If he was misquoted, the misquote actually made it even better.

Moz's putdowns are often not sincere, though. In an early nineties interview, he was quoted something Billy Bragg has said about how it must be difficult being Morrissey because he never gets to switch off and relax. Morrissey said "It must be difficult being Billy Bragg" but then immediately retracted. It's almost a reflex action with him.

 

[butley]

I like the Tony Wilson one. If he was misquoted, the misquote actually made it even better.

Moz's putdowns are often not sincere, though. In an early nineties interview, he was quoted something Billy Bragg has said about how it must be difficult being Morrissey because he never gets to switch off and relax. Morrissey said "It must be difficult being Billy Bragg" but then immediately retracted. It's almost a reflex action with him.

I think you are right. I think because Morrissey is so hard on himself he doesn't realise how vicious he can sound when talking about others. Maybe he doesn't mean as much harm as people think.

The whole Robert Smith feud was based on the fact that Robert Smith overreacted to some flippant Morrissey remark about who he would shoot first, Robert or Mark E Smith. Morrissey said he'd line them up so as to only use 1 bullet as to used 2 would be a waste.

Mark E probably didn't flinch but Robert Smith was incensed. Bowie seems to have been incensed too by some of Morrissey's comments about him.

The humanity.

 

[Uncleskinny]

No. Let him live.

A reminder of a very old joke.

Vet "I'm afraid I'm going to have to put your dog down, Mrs. Jones"
Mrs. Jones "Oh! But why?"
Vet "He's really, really heavy"

 

[Anonymous]

Great bitchy comment from the Chicago show in 2000: "Johnny Marr was Stephen Spielberg's first choice for E.T." (with a hasty backtrack of "It was Steven Spielberg's, not me..." after some people started booing).

 

[joe frady]

Of Brett Anderson ~

"He'll never forgive God for not making him Angie Bowie."

 

[ACTON]

Of Brett Anderson ~

"He'll never forgive God for not making him Angie Bowie."

The funny thing is Brett is now at the height of his powers and is able to release albums that sell fairly well. Plus Brett and his band of cohorts are ace in concert. So Brett isn't doing too badly for himself at all and is loved by both critics and fans. I'd say Moz is great at put downs when its from afar. I know he's often regretted his treatment of others down through the years (Elton John, etc) but like the scorpion in 'The Scorpion and the Frog' story he just can't help stinging people, despite the damage it does to himself and his reputation.
I know a few years ago Moz went out of his way to avoid meeting Lloyd Cole on the street. I saw Lloyd in concert last night and never was there a nicer guy. His son was on stage with him and is the spitting image of a younger Lloyd.

 

[Anonymous]

From 2003:

'In the driveway he asked a favour. He wanted to modify a few of the things he said. "Please don't have me say anything unpleasant about Coldplay and Radiohead," he said. "There's no point to it, it just looks silly and mean. They're perfectly good bands, they're just not to my taste." 'You called them Oldplay and Radiodead'. "I know. But I say a lot of things I don't mean." 'And that was something I'd never heard from Morrissey before'.

 

[Anonymous]

Well to be fair Brett's put down was given after he made a less than flattering untrue statement about morrissey which had to be amended. Mis communication or just Brett saying something strange it's must have seemed a bit unnecessarily bitchy after he covered there early song. It was also pretty mild by morrissey standards

 

[Anonymous]

Does the put down of himself count?

"At a television studio I stand before the crowd like a political reformer, and then I catch sight of myself in an enormous camera lens and I look fat. But if I hadn't noticed fatness I would have noticed something far worse. The critical eye never fails to find a flaw. What I am saying to people is 'This is why I adapt poorly to the outside world, and by the way, let me kiss you'."

 

[Anonymous]

Well to be fair Brett's put down was given after he made a less than flattering untrue statement about morrissey which had to be amended. Mis communication or just Brett saying something strange it's must have seemed a bit unnecessarily bitchy after he covered there early song. It was also pretty mild by morrissey standards

I don't think that's true. What did Brett say that Mortissey thought needed avenging? Have you got any proof?

 

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's true. What did Brett say that Mortissey thought needed avenging? Have you got any proof?

Well avenging is a bit over dramatic for my tastes but even just reading love and poison it states that after an interview with the face that he claimed to have met morrissey and thought him a bit of an idiot. Brett says this is a lie or miscommunication and that he meant that he'd met morrissey as a fan went up to him and had been a bit funny with him. Either way morrissey doesn't come off as fantastic and it's kinda a rude unnecessary comment. I chalk it up to being a new celebrity and being inexperienced with doing press. What you might say as a regular guy to your friends isn't the same as saying it to a magazine in public. I also don't think Morrisseys rebuke was all that stinging either

 

[Anonymous]

I don't think that's true. What did Brett say that Mortissey thought needed avenging? Have you got any proof?

In 1993 Brett Anderson of Suede claimed that he'd met Morrissey and "he's so ridiculously shy it's boring, not charming. He's like some kind of useless teenager". Morrissey responded with: "Despite his claims to the contrary, I have never met Brett and wouldn't wish to; he seems like a deeply boring young man with Mr Kipling crumbs under his bed. He'll never forgive God for not making him Angie Bowie."

 

[nicky wire's legs]

Great bitchy comment from the Chicago show in 2000: "Johnny Marr was Stephen Spielberg's first choice for E.T." (with a hasty backtrack of "It was Steven Spielberg's, not me..." after some people started booing).

haha i can totally see it! oh my god, so funny! haha oh mozzer, like i could ever stay mad at you <3