View attachment 16620
I`m having a lot of difficulty getting through everyday life these days.Some days the thoughts in my head go so fast and won`t stop.I talk too fast and can`t sleep.Other days getting out of bed seems like a daunting task.It feels like my head is full of fuzz and I can`t think.I lie in bed and stare at the walls because the light from the television is so bright it hurts my eyes.The noises are so loud it makes my head hurt.They seem to be amplified in my head.
At times it`s hard for me to remember what life was like before this illness manifested itself.What did you used to be like?What was life like before you felt dead inside?What were you like before you felt like you were damaged beyond repair?Sometimes you think you catch a glimpse of her in the mirror but she's gone in an instant.Then it`s just your sad old self looking back at you again.It`s you again with those blank,empty dark eyes staring back at you.I hate you.
You don`t want to feel sad and empty anymore.You try hard to smile and be normal and pleasant.Deep inside you just wish you could scream.You are so lonely yet you can`t stand to be around other people because it`s difficult for you.I want to make myself as small as possible and hide in some dark corner.I want to go away from myself.I want peace.I want to hurt myself so badly so that they will understand.This is how it is on the inside.
I hurt myself because it makes everything better.It releases the pain,it numbs the pain it makes the pain go away.It makes me feel alive.It`s warmth reminds me that there is someone still alive inside this empty shell.
I`m having a lot of difficulty getting through everyday life these days.Some days the thoughts in my head go so fast and won`t stop.I talk too fast and can`t sleep.Other days getting out of bed seems like a daunting task.It feels like my head is full of fuzz and I can`t think.I lie in bed and stare at the walls because the light from the television is so bright it hurts my eyes.The noises are so loud it makes my head hurt.They seem to be amplified in my head.
At times it`s hard for me to remember what life was like before this illness manifested itself.What did you used to be like?What was life like before you felt dead inside?What were you like before you felt like you were damaged beyond repair?Sometimes you think you catch a glimpse of her in the mirror but she's gone in an instant.Then it`s just your sad old self looking back at you again.It`s you again with those blank,empty dark eyes staring back at you.I hate you.
You don`t want to feel sad and empty anymore.You try hard to smile and be normal and pleasant.Deep inside you just wish you could scream.You are so lonely yet you can`t stand to be around other people because it`s difficult for you.I want to make myself as small as possible and hide in some dark corner.I want to go away from myself.I want peace.I want to hurt myself so badly so that they will understand.This is how it is on the inside.
I hurt myself because it makes everything better.It releases the pain,it numbs the pain it makes the pain go away.It makes me feel alive.It`s warmth reminds me that there is someone still alive inside this empty shell.
