View attachment 14841
I have been trying my best to keep going these days.Somedays are better than others.The worst day`s it`s a struggle just to get out of bed.All I want to do is sleep because I feel it makes the time pass faster.It really sucks when I can`t sleep because I`m so wound up and all I can hear is the anxiety ridden thoughts swirling around my head.Sometimes it bothers me so much that I turn on the tv to try to drown them out.I want to hurt myself so bad just to make it all go away.It`s sick I know but it feels like relief to me.
My psych has put me on a new med regimen.I haven`t started it yet though.I went to therapy earlier this week.It was a bit difficult this time.He wants me to keep a journal and show it to him on my next appointment.I do keep one already.I do think therapy is helping a bit.I really like my therapist he`s really nice.
I`ve really been tempted to give in to my self harm urges.I haven`t given in yet.I don`t want to hide yet another injury.The depression is so bad that doing that is really just like another chore.Simple things that people without MI take for granted seem like they take enormous effort.Simple,everyday decisions stump you.I feel like I`m in a fog.I have all these things that I want to say but words fail me.On the otherside the ideas come so fast that I can`t keep up.My mom tells me when I`m talking to fast and being a bit to animated.My usual self sits in corner without much to say.Right now the depression is dominant.I`ve felt it coming since December.I`m really tired,maybe I should try to get some rest now.
I have been trying my best to keep going these days.Somedays are better than others.The worst day`s it`s a struggle just to get out of bed.All I want to do is sleep because I feel it makes the time pass faster.It really sucks when I can`t sleep because I`m so wound up and all I can hear is the anxiety ridden thoughts swirling around my head.Sometimes it bothers me so much that I turn on the tv to try to drown them out.I want to hurt myself so bad just to make it all go away.It`s sick I know but it feels like relief to me.
My psych has put me on a new med regimen.I haven`t started it yet though.I went to therapy earlier this week.It was a bit difficult this time.He wants me to keep a journal and show it to him on my next appointment.I do keep one already.I do think therapy is helping a bit.I really like my therapist he`s really nice.
I`ve really been tempted to give in to my self harm urges.I haven`t given in yet.I don`t want to hide yet another injury.The depression is so bad that doing that is really just like another chore.Simple things that people without MI take for granted seem like they take enormous effort.Simple,everyday decisions stump you.I feel like I`m in a fog.I have all these things that I want to say but words fail me.On the otherside the ideas come so fast that I can`t keep up.My mom tells me when I`m talking to fast and being a bit to animated.My usual self sits in corner without much to say.Right now the depression is dominant.I`ve felt it coming since December.I`m really tired,maybe I should try to get some rest now.
