Most Loyal, Attentive Boyfriend. Ever.

[Worm]

Brace yourself for this story. Among the many ripe details, surely the most bizarre will also be passed over by many: boyfriend?

Kansas woman sat on toilet for two years

Woman's boyfriend took her food and water and regularly asked her to come out of bathroom.

From the Associated Press
March 13, 2008

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

Read all about it.

 

[joey]

Girlfriend in a toilet, I know I know, it's serious.

Yes, I had to.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Brace yourself for this story. Among the many ripe details, surely the most bizarre will also be passed over by many: boyfriend?

Kansas woman sat on toilet for two years

Woman's boyfriend took her food and water and regularly asked her to come out of bathroom.

From the Associated Press
March 13, 2008

Authorities are considering charges in the bizarre case of a woman who sat on her boyfriend's toilet for two years -- so long that her body was stuck to the seat by the time the man finally called police.

It appeared the 35-year-old Ness City woman's skin had grown around the seat, said Ness County Sheriff Bryan Whipple. The woman initially refused emergency medical services but was finally convinced by responders and her boyfriend that she needed to be checked out at a hospital.

Read all about it.

The question is, which box of crayons had more broken crayons? That's some bizarre shit, not to make too gross a pun. I heard he's being charged.

I don't know about any of you, but my legs go completely to sleep after ten minutes or so, I do my business and get out of there.

 

[Corrissey]

He should have brought her fiber. Shit or get off the pot, woman!

 

[Not Right in the Head]

They're in rural Kansas. Why leave the crapper, only to find that you're still in the middle of a shithole?

 

[Worm]

They're in rural Kansas.

If you've been in a bathroom for two years, you're officially nowhere.

I just can't get over the boyfriend.

 

[Corrissey]

I just can't get over the boyfriend.

He must have got over her. To pee. Thru her legs.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

They're in rural Kansas. Why leave the crapper, only to find that you're still in the middle of a shithole?

hehehe.

I admit I opened the thread thinking it was going to be a commercial for Worm, the Miraculous Wonder Boyfriend. It's inconceivable (yes, I know what that word means) that a guy that smart is not attached to a supermodel who moonlights as a neurologist and rescues baby bunnies in her spare time. And knits.

Worm, you gotta post a picture of yourself. There must be something we can do to help.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

He must have got over her. To pee. Thru her legs.

*eggghkkkkghhh* choking, with disgust and amusement, commingled.

 

[Worm]

hehehe.

I admit I opened the thread thinking it was going to be a commercial for Worm, the Miraculous Wonder Boyfriend. It's inconceivable (yes, I know what that word means) that a guy that smart is not attached to a supermodel who moonlights as a neurologist and rescues baby bunnies in her spare time. And knits.

Worm, you gotta post a picture of yourself. There must be something we can do to help.

I'm Client No. 11. I'm just counting down the minutes until that door is busted down.

Until then, to paraphrase Siskel & Ebert, the bathroom is closed.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

I'm Client No. 11. I'm just counting down the minutes until that door is busted down.

TMI, Worm. I expected better from you.

 

[Worm]

TMI, Worm. I expected better from you.

Also, I give good Charmin.

 

[Corrissey]

Also, I give good Charmin.

Did you see how Sheriff Whipple came to the aid of Ms. Babcock?!

p.s. did they find that animal underneath her?!

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Did you see how Sheriff Whipple came to the aid of Ms. Babcock?!

p.s. did they find that animal underneath her?!

*Doubletake* Which, the beaver?

 

[Worm]

Did you see how Sheriff Whipple came to the aid of Ms. Babcock?!

Yes!

Believe me, I thought I'd stumbled onto an Onion article.

 

[Corrissey]

*Doubletake* Which, the beaver?

That's a beaver?!

Oh this thread is going down the shitter...

 

[Worm]

Oh! They've added more to the story from AP now.

Turns out she was only on the toilet for ten minutes when the boyfriend originally called for help-- two years ago! Unfortunately, when he called to ask how he might help his girlfriend out of her predicament, the instructions he got were from Donald Rumsfeld.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

That's a beaver?!

Oh this thread is going down the shitter...

Damn, where is NRITH? He gives such good innuendo.

 

[joey]

Oh! They've added more to the story from AP now.

Turns out she was only on the toilet for ten minutes when the boyfriend originally called for help-- two years ago! Unfortunately, when he called to ask how he might help his girlfriend out of her predicament, the instructions he got were from Donald Rumsfeld.

Now that was a quality post. Good job.

 

[PregnantForTheLastTime]

Oh! They've added more to the story from AP now.

Turns out she was only on the toilet for ten minutes when the boyfriend originally called for help-- two years ago! Unfortunately, when he called to ask how he might help his girlfriend out of her predicament, the instructions he got were from Donald Rumsfeld.

No wonder he wasn't taken seriously... there are those occasions when ten minutes are not adequate to complete one's transaction. I'd have shot the bastard if he couldn't leave me alone during such sensitive business. The brown line is never to be crossed.

Now, after two or three hours... maybe he could have offered an orange-flavored fiber beverage, or somesuch. And after three days, yes, medical intervention would be indicated.

This is so f***ed.