Happy Maudlin
Corinthian and Caricature
I have been a Morrissey fan for a good four years now. I'm 18 years old and Morrissey came into my life at a time when I needed him most - this isn't a new story, I am certain that Morrissey, like all good artists, came into my life at a certain time when he spoke to me - like all good artists should and have done with me.
Michael Jackson represents something to me that, although I have grown away from as I have grown up, I refuse to let go. My earliest memories were of being four years old, sat infront of the television screen analysing and taking inspiration from every single component in Michael Jackson's live performance and vocal technique.
I have tried to explain my admiration and previous obsession with MJ to many people throughout my life - so I will try again now. I'm sure it'll meet criticism (this is Morrissey-Solo, after all!), but I hope it will make a few open minded scpetics understand his influence on at least one human being. This is, also, not a sop story - it is a recollection of fact and events that shaped who I am today - if i wanted sympathy I wouldn't broadcast my childhood to a website of strangers, I am solely interested in trying to convey my relationship with Michael Jackson's music.
I was sexually abused as a young child, from the ages of around four-six. This may seem highly ironic, but it was inevitably this abuse that led me to love Michael Jackson.
The abuse I went through left me, as it does many children, feeling completely powerless, insignificant, and disposable. However, the magic that Michael created through his movements and his undeniably amazing vocal skills inspired me immeasurably. The power that he commanded on stage and the confidence he had in his moves and his music inspired me to conjure up a confidence and power within myself.
It also, along with the divine Motown catalogue, formed the basis of music that I chose to grow up with.
I am now a musician myself, and I will be the first to say that the morals and ethics I as an artist strive to convey within myself, my life and my music, are as far removed from Michael Jackson's as possible - in heinsight I'd struggle to find any morals or ethics within Michael's music.
However, my adoration for the man as a weak and vulnerable child is something I will always be in debt to, and the gifts that the man as a performer ,and not a human being, gave to me have left me eternally in debt to Michael Jackson.
It is possible, in fact certain, that the controversies and speculation that hounded Michael Jackson were due to nothing but his own errors and mistakes. It is also certain that these will follow him well into his death.
But there was a time, around twenty years ago, when Michael Jackson was nothing but a fantastic, electrifying performer. I strongly feel that this gift should be taken gratuitously, yet with a pinch of salt.
Michael Jackson himself was abused as a child, so that connection is understandable. I find his music infectious, which on this website would be considered blasphemous to some: I don't only listen to The Smiths and Morrissey. The man was immmensely talented and tortured (sound familiar) and touched the world's hearts with his music. I was one of the Crashing Bores who cried during his memorial service.