The f*** My Life Thread

[CrystalGeezer]

I just learned the audience is going to be Clan Albertsons. Margaret from receiving, Dave from floral, Kristen from lobby, Rosa from price changes, my sister from deli.... I had no idea this was such a hot thing to attend.

 

[realitybites]

My sister's coworker Marina (I'm not making this up) went to the Monday taping and got $100 gift card for makeup. Her other coworker Rosa went last year on a Thursday and got several gift cards. No iPad for Aimers.

I didn't know it's taped LIVE for New York. Should I blurt out obscenities? The second taping is tomorrow's show so not live obviously. I got one chance! (I'll be good. I'll just hoot like I do.)

They are getting stingy with the freebies. Maybe Santa will bring you an iPad.

- - - Updated - - -

Meh. I talked about the Simpsons with Davie extensively somewhere. There was a point in the early 2000s that it got too...I dunno. Endorsed? It's definitely a great show but it doesn't grab my attention these days. My ADHD brain prefers Family Guy and dissing pop culture instead of having the various popular dumdums cameo in the show. Two and a Half Men is okay, they get away with a lot which is admirable since the FCC is ridiculous at times. Veep is lame, I watched it for a couple weeks and I thought it celebrated abuse of power in a way that was dull. My new favorite cable show is definitely Louie. LOVE. IT.

I haven't seen Louie. Maybe I'll check it out. Did you give up on Girls? Season two was not as good as one. But I'm still gonna check out season three. Not like there is anything better on. Family Guy. Never seen an episode. Maybe I'll give it a look as well.

Have fun today.

 

[Deleted member 6305]

Set up my DVR to record Morrissey's performance last night. The recording cut off after two lines of Irish Blood, English Heart because the show ran longer than the 1 1/2 hour alloted time. FML.

 

[Oh my god. it's Robby!]

more than a month and less than 2, but sure enough the whole marriage issue has come up here in China

I ignored it the first time, but the 2nd time I was drunk and made it clear that "I can't tell her why"
but I can tell you, its simple, "the one" never did that to me, and if you wanna replace her in my heart
well, you gotta not put me up against the wall like that, sorry
its as simple as that, I get most men like me would be happy to be put in this position, but I am not them
so FML

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'd been waiting six months to witness my Benz's even quarter million mile mark, OCD checking the odometer every few days. It happened sometime between home and El Monte last night on the 10 freeway.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

REalitybites, I realize you're sucking Barleycorn's dick right now and you feel comfortable. You've got a "polemic" writer on your side, all you have to do is PRAISE HIM. Stroke his ego. Let him know you've got his back. It's all you know, I can't blame you for spreading your boney cheeks for him. But think about it...

This person logs onto solo with one priority. To bash Morrissey. You are ASS TO MOUTHING the man who wants to see Morrissey assassinated and you want to call it polemic.

But what is it really? I think there's a larger metaphor here. Barleycorn represents "tough guy" status. That's who you fancy yourself hanging with, the man who calls the shots. You are aligning to him like men align to Ford or Chevrolet in their youth and who spit on the other as they grow balls and project themselves as being resolute in their convictions. BRAND IDENTITY. You identify with Barleycorn. Two months ago you identified with Morrissey. BOUGHT HIS f***ING PERFUME. Two months before that you identified with Viva. Before that you identified with your husband.

You are the epitome of a pussy-whipped, thoughtless drone that DOES WHAT MAN TELLS HER TO DO. You are a robot: MUST FIND STRONG MAN TO TELL ME WHAT TO THINK.

You represent the people buying televisions on Black Friday because the ads tell you that's what you should be doing. You represent the women starving themselves into Auschwitz victims because that's what Cosmo tells them they should look like. You represent the ultimate zombie.

And the proof of this? You CONSTANTLY have to remind yourself and everyone in your vicinity that you a SMART and EDUCATED. But you're trapped. And you beat down the one person who knows how to get you unstuck because THE MAN is telling you to do that.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Lady next door is getting new blinds tomorrow. She knocks on my door and asks if I know when the blind guy will be here, I say I don't know yet, that usually he calls the day of. "Unh. Cha." (Piss and moan sounds) I tell her I'd happily let him in if she wasn't going to be home, after elaborately explaining that won't work because of her son she says "I'll be home all day." So I say, "Well then I suppose there's no problem." And it dawns on her, "Yeah, I guess there's no problem."

 

[CrystalGeezer]

A day in clever city reading them and playing aunty amie the crone and I'm supposed to read forced green? Forget it. Also my mom is missing. She had a doctor appointment this morning after constant nagging from my sister and I to see the doctor for her cough, she decided to go on her own. She wasn't home 30 minutes ago (WHICH IS BIZARRE FOR HER) and nobody is answering their f***ing phones. FML

Mom's fine.

 

[Deleted member 6305]

 

[DAVIE]

Terrible day at work. I'm so glad I don't have kids.

 

[Reelaround]

Why what happened Davie? Was it soo bad?

 

[DAVIE]

Why what happened Davie? Was it soo bad?

Yeah I wrote it all down in a blog. It was such a horrible day and the next day I was brought back into the office along with people to watch and they complained that I'm too gentle!

I think I'll only be there till the end of this school term and I'll be leaving to be elsewhere...

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I got bamboozled today big time.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

The part of Typhoid Mary will be played by Crystal Geezer. fml

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'm 24hours early to a surprise birthday party with $56 worth of helium balloons I hope are still floating tomorrow. I'm so busy reading signs I can't read an invitation properly. AND I'm stuck on the west side til traffic dies down. FML

Actually I have a belly full of dall from Govindas so I'm at least 60% less pissed at myself than I was twenty minutes ago. Lol.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Words cannot express the frustration of seeing Dodge Durango and Axe Body Spray commercials projected on the wall while people stood like zombies instead of dancing. Then the bartenders defended it saying that "It's Grammy night." If I wanted to watch Ryan f***ing Seacrest on the wall I would've stayed HOME. It wasn't even about the MUSIC BECAUSE THEY WERE STILL SPINNING SOUL AND THE GRAMMY'S WERE MUTED, we just had to watch that two people who looked like f***ing MacBooks won best album of the year. I lost my shit and left in a huff. What a waste of a night.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

Can I just reitterate one more time to the Gods or whatever...

I. Don't. Give. A. Shit. About. Award. Ceremonies.

It's all fake.

Acknowledgement is good and all and I can appreciate that but the industry of turning the Staples Center into a ginormous money-making puppet show is not entertaining. It takes away from the music. I don't want to watch. This completely pisses off my mom who thinks I should be watching. I'll do a Rose Parade. I'll do the opening monologue. Hell, I'll watch the American Idol Finale if there's NOTHING ELSE on that night and someone else is watching it, but these "great" events are massive examples of the sapping of free will, it;s hard to explain. If there's a ball involved and people are playing a game, that's one thing. But watching people trip over their words giving speeches or choreographed great dances or whatever, it's just sort of sad in a way. I can't explain it. Maybe I'm frustrated that I have nobody to share it with. It makes me want to go back to basics in a weird way, no technology at all, no live feed of the great streaming in my face with the expectation I'm supposed to tweet a response or write something here that nobody responds to.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

My trap caught another cat. It's not even my idea to put these traps out, it's my f***ing weird neighbor who is so inconvenienced by outdoor cats looking in her window at her cat. All these cats know is scurrying around apartment complexes, they even seem well fed and I'm literally feeding them to coyotes. I just lost my mind because the cat was pleading and crying from the trap to have me open it.


I don't know what to do.


Maybe Sheri needs to close her curtains instead of having me ruin these cat's lives while I lie to myself and pretend I'm 'setting them free in the wild" and having her get all excited about it. She literally gets giddy when a cat is trapped. And the cats wouldn't even be hanging out here if it weren't for my other neighbor who told me today his cat isn't even fixed, it's like the f***ing red light district at Tradewinds with Ruka sticking her puss out the window and all these toms picking up her scent, then it's suddenly my f***ing job to feed them to the wolves.

I'm SO f***ING AGITATED FOR SOME REASON you have no idea how frustrating this is, feeling frustratiion I can't put my finger on. Nyquil and wine again. f***.

 

[CrystalGeezer]

I'll take the cat to the cemetery instead of the canyon, then it can decide to mooch of my mom's neighbors if it's not suited to nature life. (This isn't a Norman Bates thing, my mom lives next to a cemetery.) THere's also a LOT of rabbits in the cemetery and my mom leaves the hose on a trickle for the neighbor cats.

Problem solved. Kind of.

I'll keep taking possums and raccoons to the canyon, but cats to my mom's. I technically should get this cat fixed then release it, but I have too much on my plate.